Binders Full Of Women

animalstalkinginallcaps:

THAT IS AN EXCELLENT QUESTION, MA’AM. GLAD YOU ASKED.

YES, WOMEN WHO ARE MENSTRUATING MAY STILL VOTE, BUT SHOULD USE THE SPECIALLY DESIGNED ‘MOON TIME’ BOOTHS LOCATED AT THE REAR OF THE FACILITIES SO AS TO AVOID TOUCHING ANY OF THE VOTING MACHINES MANUFACTURED BY COMPANIES IN WHICH GOVERNOR ROMNEY MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE INVESTMENTS. THE VOTES WILL NOT BE COUNTED, OF COURSE, FOR AS IT STATES IN THE BOOK OF LEVI YOU MUST BE KEPT APART FOR SEVEN DAYS, BUT THEY WILL BE TALLIED BEFORE THE BOOTHS ARE BURNED AND THE MEN BATHE AND PRAY TO WASH THE UNCLEANLINESS OF YOUR MENSES FROM THEM. THOSE ‘MOON VOTES’ WILL BE KEPT IN BINDERS. WE’RE VERY BIG ON BINDERS.

ALSO, THANKS TO FURTHER FLEXIBLE SCHEDULING INTIATIVES RECENTLY PUT FORTH IN A REPUBLICAN HOUSE BILL, THE HOLDING PENS PRESIDENT ROMNEY INTENDS TO BUILD IF HE IS ELECTED WOULD ALLOW UNCLEAN WOMEN TO BE SAFELY HERDED TOGETHER DURING THE RECURRING WEEK OF THEIR MOON BLOOD WITHOUT MISSING ANY OF THE WORK SO GRACIOUSLY PROVIDED BY THE JOB CREATORS IN THIS FINE NATION. 

THANK YOU, AND WE’LL SEE YOU AT THE POLLS.